(Not) Important

One lesson of life that I learnt yesterday, you can’t force people.
You can’t force people to love you, you can’t force people to make you an important person in their life because if you’re not, then you’re not.

Yes, I get hurt. But again, we can’t force people. It’s not your fault if I’m not that important to you (as I thought I was). It’s not your fault if you don’t want to include me in your life because really and again, we can’t force people.

I get hurt, but it’s not your fault. It’s your choice.
I just have to learn and accept, as easy as that.
As easy as I write.
As easy as I pour my heart.
As easy as I thought it would be, but deep down I swear, it’s not.

More.

Never knew (I know but God, I’m not ready) that this day will come.
The day you’re no longer by my side.
No you, no us.

I know that it’s not like forever
but read me, I can’t.
I lost the capability to live
and to breathe.

I know that I’m being over-emotional,
but... this. is. so. sad.
I’m no longer feel excited to go back home
because I know that you’re so far to pick me up for dinner.

I miss when you’re just 3.2 km from me
More when we are 60 km apart.

11:40

how is it feel
to give the world to someone
but you—
doesn’t even matter to them.

how is it feel
to love someone so much
but to them—
you’re only the tiny little piece
in their life.

how is it feel
for not wanting to feel anything
because
this is too much to take
when you know
you’re feeling this alone.

how is it feel
for wanting the world to stop
so I can catch my breath
because everything are so fast
and I can’t catch everything up.

how is it feel
unwanted
second-choices
and all related feelings
cause by someone you really care
but do not care anymore.